This makes me think, who you guys think I am? Only a "famous" person or a human who has emotions, traits and flaws?
My auto-defense makes me more unsure about trusting in people. Because if someone only cares about what I did and not who I am, it isn't friendship.
I have someone inside me who is tired of getting bad friends, people that only cares about what I do and not who I am. The ones that only befriended me because i was the "sample" of the class, or because I drew better than then or got good grades. This is my auto-defense. I do not be totally sincere with people until they show that I can trust them.
At least, I feel like… Some people are my friends here because they care about who I am, forgiving me for my rudeness or for my mistakes.
I should not care about this, about the people who only see me as "idol" and not as "human"… Like if I commit a mistake I should be judged and lose bonds or receive some hate for doing something wrong. If I do something with no intentions to hurt someone, I should not be judged like if I do it for pleasure or for envy.
If it hurts you, then it hurts me too. More than you could think, specially when you trust in someone and this one betrays you. Not because you aren't on my side, but for treating me not as a friend. If I'm (or you're) wrong, how the problem keep our relationship? Do you care more about what I look or who I am??
"Idols" aren't nothing than "humans".
And that's why I don't see myself as famous. I have my own ignorance, I'm still learning and sharing my silly theories about something or even showing my vision about the world.
Why people likes to put what an "idol" do, their "talent" as something "holy"/"saint" and when the "idol" make a mistake, the people judge him/her like if he/she was a failure or faker?? And how about the "human" part of the "idol"?
There's idols who are extremely talented, but they are humans. They have traits and flaws. So, why treat them as "gods" and "goddess"??
You can admire someone by their work, but you should not judge a person by it, specially if the "idol" commit a mistake. He/She can make mistakes, and can choose his/her way to solve it.
Seriously, I feel a bit down with that person who I thought it was my friend. And, probably about some people that only thinks I'm awesome because I draw stuff or like my own theories/crazy stuff and decides to treat me like a trash because I did a mistake.
So, I would like to ask the people who admires me to not think I'm flawless. I'm a human, I can make good and bad choices, can hurt someone accidentally with words and try to fix it because I care about our friendship more than our "fame".